My Completely Arbitrary, Ridiculous Hierarchy of Music Genres

Written by JS

This list will anger you. It should anger you. I will probably say something rude about a genre you like. But you know what? Too bad. I know my taste in music is a little unrefined but this is my list and you can't do anything about it!

From lowest to highest:

  • Country - I have too much baggage for country. It makes me think about the worst in the people who love it, i.e. the south and midwest. Is that a generalization? Sure, but I also look down my long liberal elitist nose on the upstate cons who want to marry their guns... I mean cousins... I mean guns. Uh... heh
  • Most Metal - I'm not scandanavian. l do like some metal, just not Alternative metal, Avante-garde metal, Nu metal, Rap metal,  Black metal, Unblack metal, Crust punk, Death metal, Blackened death metal (sounds like a sauce from Popeyes), Death 'n' roll, Doom metal, Extreme metal, Folk metal, Celtic metal, Pornogrind, Mathcore (sounds like a terrible education policy)Neue Deutsche Härte, Speed metal, Stoner metal, Groove metal, Teutonic thrash metal
  • and especially Christian metal. It doesn't make sense and therefore scares me.


  • Pirate metal